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            2018傳遍財務人朋友圈的微小說,一定有一款說到你心坎上!

            分享到:
            2018-12-29 23:56:44來源: 首冠教育

            “等我做會計發財了,就和你離婚”

            他淡淡地說

            聽完后,她心里暖暖的,

            她想,沒有比這更天長地久。

            海枯石爛的承諾了。

            (因為她深知,做會計的永遠也不會發財)

             

            ——2018年度最佳微小說獎

             

            “等我干財務發財了,我就買房和你結婚”

            他暖暖地說,

            聽完后,她心里拔涼拔涼的!

            她想,這大概是最婉轉的分手了。

            (因為她深知,干財務的永遠也不會發財)

             

            ——2018最佳微型小說提名獎

             

             

             0 3 

             

            一位做會計的結婚不久,與幾個朋友喝酒,醉倒后不省人事。被抬回家后,老婆試著用各種辦法給他醒酒,都無濟于事,于是打電話詢問他的同事。同事說,我給他郵箱發一個報表,突然老公手機短信微信郵件同時響了,只見男人噌的一下從床上蹦起來,精神抖擻,大喊:“報表又出問題了?”老婆此時已淚流滿面!原來老公養家真不容易!

             

            ——致敬財會行業奉獻青春、揮灑熱血的兄弟姐妹

             

            在財會這個行業,在行業內都稱呼為“某經理”;李經理、陳經理、張經理,其實,就是一個“出報表的”,加班加通宵,吃飯更沒規律,只因你要必須時刻保證每個數字都不能有錯;連親人和你見個面都要預約,不知道的人、不了解的人以為你早出晚歸外面有嬌娘,一年365天日夜沒休息以為你是來自星星,賺著賣白菜的錢,操著賣白粉的心!做這行的沒有一個會腦癡呆,因為每天大腦都在高速運轉,回來了還要回憶一下整個部門的對照狀況。

             

            工作是高端大氣上檔次,工資是低調奢華接地氣!這就是財會人的精神。

             

             

             0 5 

             

            我問大師:“我是做會計的,壓力大,吃不好,睡不好,工資少,別人有時間休假,而我卻不行,感覺特別累且迷茫,心理堵的慌,大師,我該怎么辦?”

            禪師右手捂左胸,不語。

            我追問大師:“您是說不要抱怨,要問心無愧,要對得起心中夢想,對嗎?”

            禪師搖了搖頭說:“你離我遠點,我出家以前就是做這行的!今天聽你又說這些,心里堵得慌!

            有一天,在公園里·····

            女:“有三室兩廳嗎?”

            男:“沒有!”

            女:“有路虎,奧迪嗎?”

            男:“沒有!”

            女:“有7位數存款嗎?”

            男:“沒有!”

            女:“那你有啥?”

            男:“我………”

            女轉身就要走···

            突然男的說:“我是做會計的”

            女立刻回頭拉住男的手,滿臉崇拜的說道:

            “你不早說,工作量那么多,壓力那么大,你還能活下來,一定是個潛力股,這就夠了!夠了!”

             

            ——這是2018年度最勵志的段子!

             

             

            記者問一位大爺說:大爺,您保持年輕的秘訣是什么?

            大爺說:白天出報表,晚上忙加班,一天四包煙,天天吃泡面

             

            記者:啊?大爺您是做什么工作的?

            大爺:會計。

             

            記者:那大爺您今年高壽?

            大爺:32 

             

             0 8 

            做會計的人吧,表面風光,內心彷徨;容顏未老,心已滄桑;小有成就,郁悶經常;比騾子累,比螞蟻忙。

             

            ——處理報表的時侯腦袋脫發面容憔悴,為的是多賺點錢回家孝敬父母,照顧妻兒。

             

            如果你身邊有做會計的朋友,請多給他一點幫助,因為如今財會這行不賺錢。

            吃飯聚會就不要和他AA了,你請他吧;

            有時間多陪陪他,約他吃飯,喝酒各種消費時你來買單吧,不要跟他提錢了;

            工作壓力已經很大,請理解她、包容他、打牌也故意輸給他;

            臨走再塞個萬兒八千的紅包也行,讓他感受到人間的溫暖吧;

            請緊密陪伴他,生活是相互扶持的!

            不說了,前邊有人扔了個咸鴨蛋!!!

             

            看完以上的段子,你是不是感同身受,哭笑不得呢?



            雖然有一丟丟夸張搞笑的成分在,但是財會行業是真心不容易!每一個財會人都是可親可敬的超級英雄!如果你在財務發展路上遇到職業瓶頸,別忘了找首冠財經教育,12年的專業指導,一定能幫你排疑解惑。

             

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